This little gem was produced by Gary Hallock in the course of a pun cascade in P.U.N.Y. If any of you would like to get on the listserv for these punsters, let me know, and I will give you the sign-on instruction.
The Wonderbra company devised a model for flat chested women who want to look like they’re concealing Wabash Cannon balls. They call it the “Roy A-Cup.”… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaggy-underwear/
This one took a long, tortuous pathway to get to me. It could as well be an Aggie joke. There are several versions of this pun. This probably is the rudest one.
Two Texans were seated at the end of a bar when a young lady seated a few stools up began to choke on a piece of hamburger. She was turning blue and obviously in serious respiratory distress.
One Texan said to the other, “That there gal is having … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/life-saving-in-texas/
I received this from Jim Nesbit and I think it deserves notice.
After intensive investigation on both the Soviet and US parts, both space agencies have determined the cause for the accident which has placed the station and its resident personnel in jeopardy. In terse statements at a recent press conference, Soviet and US space agency spokespersons said Thursday: We have concluded joint investigations concerning this potentially tragic accident and each nation’s team, separately, has arrived at identical conclusions for … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/mere-formality/
This one is printed with permission by Gatotomaso who submitted it to P.U.N.Y.
A Mafia underboss was sending one of his men out to run an errand for the Godfather. He was to make a pickup at Al Weiss the tailor’s establishment. To make sure the hood understood, he was asked to repeat the instructions. “OK, boss, it’s Al Weiss, dark vest, be for the Don”!… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/brandoed/
This little story by paTRICK heSTER was the winner in a recent pun contest (Punsters United Nearly Yearly — P.U.N.Y.). The topic was nautical puns. It may not come at first, but it is worth the effort.
This squinty eyed sailor with big bulgy arm muscles walks into his favorite bar. The owner, a German gentleman named Josef Mann, greets him with a frosty cold mug of beer. The innkeeper says “Our specials tonite are cheeseburgers or chicken pot pie. … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-touch-of-olive/
In a recent pun contest for P.U.N.Y., TappedAnts submitted the following.
I think my brother is crazy. All day long he makes lines of chick peas, black-eyed peas, english peas, and crowder peas. Then he just sits there and looks at them. When I asked him why, he said he was just minding his peas in queues.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/variant-on-peas/
This effort came from Don Schricker.
There is a tribe of Indians living on a mesa way into the central part of the state. As with many tribes and reservations, conditions are very difficult — the primary problem being the absence of a source of water up on the mesa. There is a river running at the base of the mesa many hundreds of feet below. Unfortunately, again as with many other such situations, electrical power is many, many miles … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/more-native-americans/
This one was sent to Brian by Edward Nelson whom we thank.
During WW2 a group of British advance troops were captured by the Germans. Because they were advance troops, the Germans wanted to know what they were up to, so they brought them into Gestapo Headquarters. They questioned these troops, but got no information, so they called in their top interrogator. His philosophy was to first break their spirit, so he devised a particularly heinous method to break their … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/highvays-and-byvays/
This gem comes from Magus Firecow (aka Lin Ka-Ming) [kamin@mms.utoronto.ca]. He is one of the masters of the shaggy dog. (RL = real life and a.c. = alt.callahans. Mike is the man behind the bar.)
It’s been over a month since Magus Firecow was last roaming about the wired world. His RL persona has been swamped with unbelievable amounts of work (whine whine whine. Pity me, I’m busy, yeah I know how pathetic it sounds…), but he’s finally found a … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/garland-tale/
I received this one from Richard P. Stymans, a faithful contributor. The original version was published in C&C News.
Joseph Matt of Downers Grove, Ill, recalls a historic milestone of baseball that appeared in 1988 in _The Stirring Rod_, the newsletter of the Chicago Chemists’ Club. The scene was Mount Olympus, where Bacchus, the Greek god of wine, had thrown a party for a pair of visiting Roman deities — Ceres, the goddess of agriculture, and Janus, the two-faced god … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/athletics-on-mount-olympus/