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Zombieland Rules

Category: Rated G

As we approach Halloween, I’m reminded of last year’s Zombieland, a brilliant horror-comedy staring Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, and Abigail Breslin. In the movie, Columbus (Eisenberg) refers to thirty-three rules for surviving the zombie apocalypse.

While not all of the rules have been revealed, here’s what we know:

1. Cardio
2. Double tap
2. Ziploc bags (alternate #2 from a deleted scene)
3. Beware of bathrooms
4. Wear seatbelts
5. Shoot first (from the cell phone game)
6. Cast iron skillet
7. Travel light
7. Incoming! (alternate #7 from the cell phone game)
8. Get a kickass partner
8. Break it up (alternate #8 from the cell phone game)
9. With your bare hands (from the cell phone game)
10. Don’t swing low (from the cell phone game)
11. Use your feet (from the cell phone game)
12. Bounty paper towels
13. Shake it off (from the cell phone game)
15. Bowling ball
17. (Don’t) be a hero
18. Limber up
21. Avoid strip clubs
22. When in doubt, know your way out
22. Opportunity knocks (alternate #22 from the cell phone game)
24. Use your thumbs (from the cell phone game)
29. The buddy system
31. Check the back seat
32. Enjoy the little things
33. Swiss army knife

The following four rules were mentioned by writers Paul Wernick and Rhett Reese in interviews but they don’t have numbers associated with them.

Always carry a change of underwear
Double-knot your shoes
It’s a marathon, not a sprint. Unless it’s a sprint, then sprint
Pack your stain stick

And never forget, there may be Zombies Ahead!

Zombies Ahead in Austin, Texas

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