Who’s on First?

This is by Jason Dias.


Abbott and Costello owe their famous bit to a story Lou heard concerning one of his ancestors. Hans Costello was the head priest at a nunnery in Denmark. Each year, the nunnery held a talent show as a way to keep the nuns amused (it was very boring in the Denmark countryside in 1650).

Well, to make a long story longer, Hans was discussing the order of the performances with the propmaster, Fabio. Of course, Hans would say, “Hoos on first,” to which Fabio would respond, “That’s what I’m trying to find out,” in an endless and very frustrating circle. Well, the argument soon turned to blows, then grappling, end ended when Hans bit off Fabio’s ear (a-la-Mike Tyson).

Everything ended well, with a smashing talent show and a good-natured make-up between the confused prop-master and priest.

Fabio returned to his normal life as village carpenter, returning each year as prop-master for the talent show. And whenever a nun asked him what had happened to his ear, he’d say,

“I was Abbot Costello’s ‘Hoos on first’ bit.”

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