Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive

West Point

Category: P.U.N.Y. listserv, Pun Cascade, Puns, Rated PG-13

This is a pun cascade from many of the folks at P.U.N.Y.

From our vantage overlooking the Hudson at West Point, we could see, near the top of a hill on the other side, a castle [purportedly] used in the filming of The Wizard of Oz, complete with a moat. Apparently it won’t be used in future productions. It’s been demoated.

Bob Dvorak

If the castle is not being used, we should consider the ditch around it to be moot.

Stan Kegel

Do you suppose the draw bridge operates by re-moat control? When they raise it up I’ll bet it casts a pretty long chateau.

Gary Hallock

I hear it’s haunted…by the ghost of a former pop singer of a well-known music quartet. But the owners brought in an exorcist and now Mama Cass’ll have to live somewhere else.

Cyn MacGregor

If that castle won’t be used any more, I reckon it’s lost its moativation. Unless, of course, that was Bob’s moative in bringing this up.


The castle’s interior walls are decorated with pictures of the water
ringing the castle because the interior designer favored an aqueous moatif.


Since this castle has been de-moated, it may be destroyed, but it could be that the local authorities are dungeon the question. If it is destroyed, they might bring in a wrecking machine to ramparts of it and knock it down.

Bert Piboin

The guys who work in the upper towers of the castle keep muttering strange sounds. I think they have turrets syndrome. They seem happy, though. Somewhat crenelated.

Gary Hallock

I’ve noticed that the owner’s dogs and cats are found on the castle walls in little groups of two. That’s why they’re called parapets.

Charles Wukash

I thought those were the domestic animals that you take with you when you go skydiving.

Gary Hallock

Zounds last time I went skydiving I developed a sore throat and had to gargoyle with salt.


I usually only do that when I take an ocean to go saline! Of course if your castle comes under a salt, it’s likely your defenses have been beached.

Gary Hallock

Better sand for reinforce cements.

Gary Hallock

Better send for some ram parts too.


I mostly use those ramparts when I’m repairing my truck. What you really need to watch out for is that dam sill in distress, Rapunzel. When it’s windy and she lets her long hair down past her waist she ends up with flying butt tresses.

Gary Hallock

Bathrooms (only of course the Brits don’t call them that) are few and far apart in the castle, so people needing to use them often have to not only use a faster gait than walking to get there but have to add a kind of helpful jiggle to their steps as well. This is the origin of the song, “Skip to my loo.”


The origin of the slang term “runs” for diarrhea is a no-brainer, but what many people don’t know is that many people are predisposed toward diarrhea from birth.  In other words, it runs in their jeans. 
Then there was the very shy woman who was ashamed of her condition.  She tried to keep it a secret, but it got out all over town.

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