Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Weed It and Reap…

Category: Rated G

Several folks report “It Really Happened” Puns. Here is one by Lowrie Beacham, a nice little variant (the pun, not Lowrie).


True story (you don’t get many of those, I know): Last night my daughter and her husband fixed dinner for her mother and me, it being some special day or other; it was easy for the daughter–her husband is the cook. So, she recruited me to help with a gardening problem. She has an industrial strength climbing rose, which broke free from its trellis last year, and has been roaming the rest of the flower bed, seeking whom it might devour. The nearest victim was a large and once promising herb, now largely engulfed by the rampant rose. Fortunately, it’s just the beginning of the North Carolina rose season, and with clippers and twist tabs and lots of scratches, we were able to untangle the rose, handcuff it back to the trellis, and salvage most of the battered herb.

Whereupon I said to my daughter, “We partially saved the rosemary in time.” It did not meet with the awed applause I felt it deserved. But they seldom do.

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