Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Washington Post Word Contest

Category: Puns, Rated PG-13

This list of daffynitions was sent by Debbie Brand. Most of these are quite punny.


Winners of This Year’s Washington Post Word Contest:

1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly(adj.), impotent

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly
answer the door in your nightie.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up
after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a
proctologist immediately before he examines you.

13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), the belief that, when you die, your soul goes up
on the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Pokemon (n), a Jamaican proctologist.

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