Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Wash Happening

Category: Rated G

Another pun by Bob Dvorak. Which to choose? I use these arithmetically and his output increases exponentially. So, this really is cherry picking, though, I am assuming this story is nothing less than the truth.


I called my cousin this morning. He owns a diner just off the Interstate.

Bad move. I suppose I should’ve known that morning is the wrong time to call — it’s the busiest time of day. But for the mere minutes I was on the phone I got an earful about the dishwasher who just upped and walked out. So Brad, who’s supposed to be playing host and cashier, is back in the kitchen washing dishes.

Summoning all my memories of practical jokes over the years — always by Brad at my expense, I fashioned a package and had a courier deliver it.

At 3:30PM. I got a phone call from Brad. “What’s this?” He was looking at a rather rusty assembly dominated by two off-white cylinders and a hand crank. At the bottom were the remains of a mounting clamp.

“Oh!” I replied. “I was just trying to help. That’s a dead wringer for your washer.”

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