Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Warped and Shaggy

Category: Rated G

This scientific tale is from Joe Blake.


A scientist had invented a new space drive, called a Dark Drive, because when it was initiated, the vehicle it was driving was converted into quarks, which were twisted by a powerful magnetic field, so that the stream of quarks warped into another dimension. This warping had the side effect of attracting all the photons within a relatively small radius, hence with the field of operation it got dark.

He attended a scientific conference one day, when he was shocked to hear another scientist claiming to have invented an exactly similar space drive, although he didn’t call it a Dark Drive.

Our inventor confronted the upstart and accused him of stealing his idea. The guy stammered and said that his own device was nothing like the Dark Drive.

Through gritted teeth, our friend said “I sat through your entire description. It warps like a Dark, it torques like a Dark, it quarks like a Dark. It’s a Dark.”

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