Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive

Warning to Golfers

Category: Adult Theme

This is from Lowrie Beacham. The author is not known.

Toward the end of the golf course, Dave somehow managed to hit his ball into the woods, finding it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.

All of a sudden . . .POOF! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said, “I’m Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for that, you won’t have any butter for your popcorn the rest of your life; better still; you won’t have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life…..as a matter of fact, you won’t have any butter for anything the rest of your life!” Then POOF!….she was gone.

After Dave got a hold of himself, he hollered for his friend, Fred. “Fred, where are you?”

Fred yelled back, “I’m over here, in the pussywillows.”

Dave yelled back, “DON’T SWING FRED!!! For God’s sake, DON’T SWING!!”

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