This is by Martin Baker
Dear Sir, I need to advise you of a nefarious plot by one of our greatest news agencies. I discovered that they tried to clone Walter Cronkite, but after creating the embryo and implanting it into the host mother, they discovered, that they were going to be producing twins. I therefore shall go and drink to absolve myself of my awareness of this heinous act of replication, thereby making of my evening, a binge over doubled Walters.