I have been encouraged NOT TO GIVE the appropriate and deserving credit for this little tale. The original author is not known.

Three guys were talking about what they were going to get their ladies for Valentine’s Day. The first fellow says, “I’m getting her two presents, a diamond necklace and diamond earrings. That way if she doesn’t like the necklace, she’ll like the earrings.”

The second guy says, “I’m getting mine two presents, as well, a scarf and a bracelet. That way, if she doesn’t like the scarf, maybe she’ll like the bracelet.”

The third fellow is a redneck. He says, “I’m getting my old lady two presents also, a nice T-shirt and a dildo. That way, if she don’t like the T-shirt, she can go screw herself.”