Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Understanding Geriatric Text Messaging

Category: Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Rated PG

This is from the groaners listserv. As far as I know (AFAIK), these have not yet entered the lexicon, but they do seem so useful and appropriate. I do not know what a Lemon Party is, by the way (BTW). Please, don’t tell me.

DYRS = Do You Remember Sex?

MWIIACWC = My Wife Is In A Coma, Wanna Cyber?

TVKI = The Viagra’s Kicking In

ITAC = Is This A Computer?

GoL = Grandchild on Lap

N911 = Nurse Alert

420 = Dinner Time

IOMM = I’m Off My Meds

MGIAQ = My Grandson Is A Queer

SYHFUMA = Shove Your Hummel Figurine Up My Ass

FOLS = Fond of Leathery Skin

DiR = Death In Room

TYDO = Take Your Depends Off

LMIRLABE = Let’s Meet In Real Life At Bob Evans

OSMGISUMWC = One Second, My Grandson Is Setting Up My Web Cam

MPHWHJ = My Parkinsons Helps With Hand Jobs

TCS = The Catheter Stings

WYWM = Will You Wipe Me?

LSMSSCOW = Let’s Spend My Social Security Check On Whores

WMBRB = Watching Matlock, Be Right Back

LDOMC = Lay Down On My Craftmatic

KADC = Knitting A Dildo Cozy

LMG = Lost My Glasses

RU/81 = Are You Over 81?

WSTMO = Willard Scott Turns Me On

PRUN = Prunes

LYWMGUO = Leave Your Wal-Mart Greeter Uniform On

IFTWPA = I Forgot To Wear Pants Again

LLP = Let’s Lemon Party

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