Trying To Lose Weight (A Tale for Our Times)

The syndicated cartoonist, Lynn Johnson, produces a strip called For Better Or For Worse. A good-hearted family cartoon with occasional poignant barbs, it tells the developing story of the Patterson family. As I think about it, one of the things I enjoy most about the series is that the family matures and changes with time. It is not locked in the eternal now as are so many other strips such as “Dagwood”, in which the characters never age or develop.

Ms. Johnson also likes puns. This is one of my favorites. It is added to the website with permission, Copyright, Lynn Johnson.

A cartoon from a few years back featured two middle-aged women on their daily exercise stroll. They were talking about how hard it is to lose weight as one gets older.

One woman complained that she was in good physical condition, but there was too much weight under her arms. The other said that regardless of how much she exercised, there was too much flab on her thighs, abdomen and backside.

Her companion agreed, saying, “It’s true. The lard works in mysterious ways. ”

Gary Hallock commented:

Mysterious weighs, indeed! Women who are experiencing too much poundage on their backsides should see a lawyer about getting a restraining order.

rosecatt commented:

That story reminds me of how my sainted grandmother used to make a wonderful German dessert that was a family favorite. Of course in those days no one thought about their cholesterol, and I believe that Crisco had yet to be invented so naturally she used lard in her pastry, as was the custom then.

But (and I shall try to put this delicately), ingesting lard was known to ease one’s inner detritus through it’s inevitable journey quite smoothly. However, this was not considered in any way a problem, for this delightful fruited pastry was so delicious that no one would consider refusing a generous plate of it. Not to mention how hurt Grandmother would have been if her efforts were not rewarded with complimentary “ooooh’s and ahhhhh’s” from around the table.

Thus, I believe I can say with some degree of accuracy that my family was first to utter the well known and oft repeated homily “Pass the lard and praise the apple kuchen!”

Ms Scarlett jabbed me in an editorial followup with, “Dare I say it — you’re getting bigger and better all the time.”

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