Today’s Stock Market Tips

My cousin, the beautiful Lavonne, sent this list of potential stock market mergers.

1.      Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush
and W.R.Grace Co. will merge and become Hale, Mary, Fuller,

2.      Polygram Records, Warner Bros. and Zesta Crackers join forces
and become … Polly, Warner Cracker.

3.      3M will merge with Goodyear and issue forth as MMMGood.

4.      Zippo Mfg, Audi Motor Car, Dofasco and Dakota Mining will
merge to become, of course, ZipAudiDoDa.

5.      Federal Express is expected to join its major competitor,
UPS, and consolidate as FedUP

6.      Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become
Fairwell Honeychild.

7.      Grey Poupon and Dockers are expected to become Poupon

8.      Knotts Berry Farm, Nat’l Org. of Women and Eveready Batteries
will become Knott NOW, or Ever!

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