Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Toast to the New Year

Category: Puns, Rated G

This is from Lowrie who reports it came from an old (and besotted) fraternity brother who said, “Dunno why this made me immediately think that I need to share this with Beacham”. Actually, I think we know.


The Martini was invented in San Francisco by an eponymous (yeah, I looked it up) bartender, but it was Charles Dickens who tweaked the recipe. Dickens couldn’t get the Angel of Inspiration to land on his shoulder. He couldn’t even come up with a lead character, not to mention the title for his next novel.

He dropped his quill late at night and left his desk for the streets and wandered into his neighborhood watering hole in what is now called the City. The bartender recommended something new, still concocted with London gin, called a Martini. Dickens asked what that was and asked if he could have it chilled, straight up. The bartender suggested an extra-dry proportion, seven to one, say. Dickens said fine, and he hoped that was his last decision before he could try this new Martini and soon start writing.

But then the bartender had to ask, “Olive or twist?”

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