This was published on the groaners listserv. The author is not known.

The Italian says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have wine.”

The Mexican says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have tequila.”

The Scot says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have scotch.”

The Swede says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have aquavit.”

The Japanese says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have sake.”

The Russian says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have vodka.”

The German says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have beer.”

The Greek says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have ouzo.”

The Jew says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have diabetes.”