Posted on the groaners listserv by Stan Kegel.
Herman was afflicted with an explosive personality that caused him more and more problems at home and on the job. Finally, his distressed family persuaded him to enter an anger-management course.
Herman’s therapy included an alarm clock on his bedroom table that was tuned in to his brain by electronic pulses. Every time Herman flew into a tantrum, the clock would explode into a loud and irritating ring that wouldn‚t stop until he calmed down. For quite a while, Herman deeply resented the noisy timepiece, but eventually he came to see that it was helping him to control his anger. He would even sing to it: “Clock of rages, left for me. Let me chide myself with thee.”
*”Time for Anger” from “The Ants Are My Friends” by Richard Lederer & Stan Kegel (©2007 Marion Street Press) “Rock of ages, cleft for me. Let me hide myself in thee” from “Rock of Ages” by Thomas Hastings and Augustus M. Topland
Chris Cole
/ April 15, 2011Now reduced to a largely more peaceful state, Herman was able to take up new-found hobbies of poker and ten-pin bowling, but he had the odd habit of wearting a false mustach and eyeglasses at the lanes. In fact, one of his poker mates never knew Herman was also on his bowling team.
Herman still tended to wear his emtions on his sleeves, especially at the gaming table where he’d grimace at every poor hand he was delt. This didn’t exactly enhance his ability to bluff the other players. Once he blurted out, “I’d rather be at the lanes, smashing the pins to bits!”
When his unknowing ten-pin teammate inquired where he planned to do that, one of the other poker players said, “Ask not for whom the tell bowls; he bowls for thee!”
Chris Cole
/ April 15, 2011“wearting” => “wearing”….
“mustach” => “mustache”…
“emtions” => “emotions”
Ai wull git spehczech sune…
oooooops……grrr….