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Three Quarterbacks before the Lord

Category: Politically Incorrect

This rude little tale is at least thirty or forty years old.  Who the original subjects were is lost to antiquity. Certainly, you might choose a different three quarterbacks when you tell it.


Payton Manning, Tomy Romo and Brett Favre all stand before God, in heaven. God asks Peyton Manning first: ‘What do you believe?’

Peyton thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, ‘I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my fans.’

God can’t help but see the essential goodness of Manning, and offers him a seat to his left.
Then God turns to Tony Romo and says, ‘What do you believe?’

Tony says, ‘I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life. I, too, have been lucky, but win or lose, I’ve always tried to be a true sportsman, both on and off the playing fields.’

God is greatly moved by Tony’s sincere eloquence, and he offers him a seat to his right.

Finally, God turns to Brett Favre: ‘And you, Brett, what do you believe?’

Brett replies, ‘I believe you’re in my seat.’

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  1. Brian P. Combs

     /  March 29, 2010

    I’m pretty sure I heard this with Hillary Clinton as the third supplicant back in the 90’s. There’s also a version with Bono of U2 floating around.

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