Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Those Good Old Tunes, Revised

Category: Puns, Rated G

Pharmacy Brother Charlie Pfister sent me this punish list.


For all of those who miss those great old tunes from the 60s and 70s, there’s good news! Some of your old favorites have re-released their great hits with new lyrics to accommodate maturing audiences. You youngsters won’t know what we’re talking about.

— Bobby Darin – “Splish, Splash, I Was Havin’ a Flash”

— Herman’s Hermits – “Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got a Lovely Walker”

— The Beatles – “I Get by with a Little Help from Depends”

— Marvin Gaye – “I Heard It Through the Grape Nuts”

— The Bee Gees – “How Can You Mend a Broken Hip”

— The Temptations – “Papa’s Got a Kidney Stone”

— Nancy Sinatra – “These Boots Aren’t Made for Bunions”

— Paul Simon – “Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver”

— Roberta Flack – “The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face”

— ABBA – “Denture Queen”

— Leo Sayer – “You Make Me Feel Like Napping”

— Commodores – “Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom”

— Johnny Nash – “I Can’t See Clearly Now”

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