Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Things Confucius Did Not Say (But Should Have)

Category: Lists, Puns, Rated PG

These are from Sonya Schali. Thank you


Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.

Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.

Squirrel who runs up womans’ leg will not find nuts.

Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.

Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who runs behind car gets exhausted.

Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.

War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.

Man who fight with wife all day get no peace at night.

It takes many nails to build a crib, but only one screw to fill it.

Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.

Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.

Finally CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY. . .

“A lion will not cheat on his mate, but a tiger would!”

« Previous post
Next post »

2 ResponsesLeave one →

  1. Mike McGuire

     /  January 4, 2013

    Short man dance with tall girl get bust in mouth.

  2. matt dunn

     /  June 12, 2015

    man who walks through airport doors sideways is going to Bangkok
    an empty house is better than a bad tenant (upon farting)
    denial is not just a river in Egypt
    man with penis in cookie jar, fucking crackers

Leave a Reply