Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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There’s No Place Like Holmes

Category: Rated G

An original by Bob Levi. Thanks, as always.


As most folks know, Sherlock Holmes retired from London to keep bees in Sussex. However, what’s not well known is that someone told him about an extremely lucrative investment opportunity, a restaurant near his new home. He was intrigued. So Sherlock investigated and subsequently bought the business. The restaurant specialized in rotisserie chicken. The former owner from Germany had called the establishment, “Braun’s Chicken.”

Once Sherlock owned the enterprise, he decided to change the restaurant’s name. Wishing to take advantage of his world famous celebrity and applying his acerbic, droll and cerebral sense of humor, Holmes rather cleverly renamed the restaurant “Sherlock Holmes’ Rotisserie Chicken Best Not Eaten When You’re in a Fowl Mood.”

With Holmes being consumed with keeping his bees and offering occasional detective consulting advice, he had no time to run the business. So hired a new cook to manage and operate his chicken restaurant. The cook had considerable experience in similar businesses but never had much success in any of them.

Excited, he wrote his mother about his good fortune to be working for the great consulting detective. The cook shortly received a congratulatory letter from his Mum. At the end of the reply, she advised him, “I hope that you avoid failure this time. So be careful and make sure that you don’t keep the Holmes fryers burning.”

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