There were once two weevils living in the country together. One day, they were talking about life, and decided to do something about their miserable existences. So they made a bet: they would return in a year’s time, and compare who’d made a better life for himself.

A year passed. They returned. One had become a legal aid, working in the insect courts of England (as an earwig). The other was still flipping dung-balls at Mc(Farmer)Donalds. The second, obviously having lost the bet, was from then known on as The Lesser Of Two Weevils.