Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


The Travels of the One Dollar Bill

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Puppy

Included in my collection of unposted stoies is this tale of human nature from the late Mel Lett.


A torn and ragged one-dollar bill discovered that it was about to be retired from circulation. As it slowly moved along the conveyor belt to the shredder, it became acquainted and struck up a conversation with a fifty-dollar bill that was meeting the same fate.

The fifty began reminiscing about its travels all over the country. Life has been good,” the fifty exclaimed. “Why, I’ve been to Las Vegas, the finest restaurants in New York, political fund raisers, and just returned from a cruise on the Caribbean.”

Gee,” said the one-dollar bill, “you’re fortunate to have been able to visit all those places.”

So where all have you been in your lifetime, my little friend,” says the fifty?”

“Well, I’ve been to …

the Methodist Church,

the Baptist Church,

the Episcopal Church,

the Presbyterian Church,

the Lutheran Church,

the Catholic Church,

the Orthodox Church,

the Assembly of God Church,

the Brethren Church,

the Quaker Church,

the Pentecostal Church,

the Charismatic Church,

the Mennonite Church,

the Church of Christ…”

“Excuse me,” says the fifty, “but what’s a Church?”

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