Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


The Three-Legged Pig

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Dogs

Bob Levi reminds me that the recent story about the three-legged chicken naturally provides a segue into the three-legged pig story.


So the man notices a three-legged pig in the farmyard and mentions to the farmer, “I see you also raise three-legged pigs.”

“Nope,” replies the farmer, “That there pig is a family pet and he’s really smart. We’ve taught him all kinds of tricks, like ‘Roll Over,’ ‘Sit’ and ‘Fetch.’ As to that last trick, ah kin be sittin’ on our front pouch and when the weekly newspaper comes, ah jest tells the pig to ‘Fetch’ and he goes gits the paper and brings it to me.”

“Wow!” exclaims the man. “That pig sure is smart.”

“Not only is he smart, but he’s somethin’ of a hero,” the farmer tells him.

“What do you mean a ‘hero?'” asks the man.

“Well,” says the farmer. “That there pig, being the family pet, sleeps at the foot of our bed. One night when we were all sleepin’, a fire breaks out in our farmhouse. The pig started squealin’ and fussin’ and wakes us all up so we were able to git out of the house.”

“That’s truly astounding,” says the man. “It’s unbelievable.”

“But you ain’t heard the whole story,” the farmer replies. “We all git out of the fire that night except my baby girl. That wonderful pig went back in the burning farmhouse and dragged the little one to safety and saved her life.”

“And the pig lost his leg because it was burned in the fire?” asks the man.

“Well, not exactly,” answered the farmer. “Ya’ see, a pig like that, one that is so smart, so heroic, so valuable. You don’t eat a pig like that all at once!

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