Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


The Thanksgiving Turkey

Category: Puns@yahoogroups.com, Rated G, Shaggy Puppy

Stan Kegel sent this seasonal contribution.


The turkey shot out of the oven
and rocketed into the air;
It knocked every plate off the table
and partly demolished a chair.

It ricocheted into a corner
and burst with a deafening boom;
Then splattered all over the kitchen
completely obscuring the room.

It stuck to the walls and the windows,
it totally coated the floor;
There was turkey attached to the ceiling
where there’d never been turkey before.

It blanketed every appliance,
it smeared every saucer and bowl;
There wasn’t a way I could stop it –
that turkey was out of control!

I scraped and I scrubbed with displeasure,
and thought with chagrin as I mopped
That I’d never again stuff a turkey
with popcorn that hadn’t been popped.

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