Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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The Ten Best Stressed Puns of 1990

Category: News, Puns

Although there is ample room for doubt, a student of motion picture history says he had traced the orgin of a famous Warner Bros. movie cry to Disneyland. Seems that when the park first opened, Walt Disney had an apartment over its firestation with windows that opened above the dock where the park’s supplies were delivered. Every morning, the story goes, the crew on the dock had to wait until Disney awakened before they could start work. So as soon as Disney was up, his secretary would call out the window,

“Walt’s up dock!”

It has just come to light that some residents who live near the Indianapolis Speedway, home of the Indy 500 auto race, plan to file suit over foul-smelling exhaust fumes from the track. They are seeking damages for Indy scent exposure.

After the wife of a well-know swindler had her kitchen remodeled, and asked her husband to pay the contractor, he said “Give him some of the new money I just printed. After all, he’s a counter fitter.”

Last summer, frozen-food companies had trouble finding high-quality vegetables for processing because of the dry weather. As a result, many were culled but few were frozen.

The little grandson asked his granfather if he could croak like a frog. “Sure” said Grandpa, who then issued a great frog-like sound. The grandson jumped up and down with glee. “Goody, goody!” he exclaimed. When a passerby asked why he was getting so excited, the boy explained; “Because Mama said that when Grandpa croaks, we’re all going to Disneyland!”

Most people know the legend of William Tell, but few realize that he and his family were championship bowlers whose team was sponsored by local merchants. Even now, to be able to claim that the Tells once represented your family business would be of great advertising value. Unfortunately, the old records have been lost and today we can’t be
sure for whom the Tells bowl.

When Scrooge died and the town dogcatcher was sent to pick up his dog, it attacked him so fiercely that he cried, “The cur is worse than the deceased!”

Few historians know that Paul Revere had an English barber, let alone that the barber would visit him secretly at night. In time, Revere’s wife got suspicious. So one night, when the barber was there, she listened at the door to Revers’s study and finally called out, “What’s going on in there?”
“It’s all right, dear,” Revere called back. “The British are combing.”

When the King of Kale first took his young son out to view their great expanse of vegetables and herbs, the lad was impressed and strode on in awe through the fields that soon would be his own vast ptomaine.
On his father’s return to the castle, the queen asked, “Where is our son?” To which the king replied proudly, “I have left my food-prince in the stand of thyme”.

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