I was watching the Blue Collar Comedy Tour this morning, and Ron White told a version of this joke. His version was shaggier and better.

There are really only three places a magician can find work: children’s parties, Vegas and cruise ships. Merlon the Magician couldn’t stand dry air because of his eczema and was allergic to cup cakes, so giving his show on the high seas was his only option.

His show was quite popular, but like such workers, he tended to move from one ship to the next. One day, he was hired by a ship who had a parrot that would sit in the audience every night and watch the show.

Eventually, the parrot learned the show and began heckling the magician.

“Bwak! It’s up his sleeve!”

“Bwak! It’s under his hat!”

Other than the damn bird, Merlon really liked the ship. The food was good, the passengers were friendly, and the ports of call were some of his favorites. He really wanted to stay on that ship, but the parrot was really ruining his show.

One night, he finally lost it. He pulled out a pistol, aimed at the parrot, and fired. The bullet missed and hit a propane tank instead, blowing the ship to pieces.

The only survivors were the magician and the parrot. As they clung to a piece of wreckage waiting to be rescued, the parrot said, “Ok, I give up. What did you do with the ship?”