Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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The Step-sisters

Category: Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Rated G, Shaggy Dogs

This shaggy story was posted on the groaners listserv by the author Louise Brady.


There once was a single mother named Cara who had a daughter by the name of Sarah. One day she met a single father name Ray who had a daughter named Kay and another one named Sarah. Cara and Ray started dating. After several months they got married.

The three children got along fairly well, but kids will be kids and once in awhile they argued. This was to be expected but over all Cara and Ray were very happy together, joining their two families together with much love.

But one rainy day the kids were cooped up in the house and rather bored. They were getting on each other’s nerves. And they began to bicker, which, of course, got on Cara’s nerves.

It seemed like the three kids fought with each other all day long. They called each other names. They hit each other. They glared at each other.

It wasn’t just two against one, but they each individually seemed to have a problem with one another. This went on all day as the rain dripped down and down and down.

Finally Ray came home from work and he noticed the tenseness the minute he walked in the door. Of course, it could have been the screaming, yelling and hitting that tipped him off, too. Well, being the excellent father and stepfather that he was, he called the three girls together for a family conference. Ray found that sitting down and talking things out, communicating, was always the best policy.

So Ray and the girls chatted. It seems they were worried about their future. Questions arose.

For example, Sarah (who belonged to Cara) questioned, “What if Sarah (who belonged to Ray) gets married before me? Will I have to do all her chores?”

And then Sarah (who belonged to Ray) questioned, “What if Sarah (who belonged to Cara) grew up to be prettier than her and she got to go on all the dates while Sarah (who belonged to Ray) sat home?”

And then Kay piped up, “What if they both (Sarah who belonged to Cara and Sarah who belonged to Ray) are prettier than me and they both go out on dates and I am home alone? That’s not fair.”

In fact, the more they discussed these potential futuristic problems, the madder they all got at one another and they started fighting and yelling and hitting one another all over again.

The noise level became momentous! Ray’s ears were hurting! He was disgusted!

Finally he could take it no more and, putting an end to the discussion once and for all, shouted, “Kay, Sarah, Sarah, whatever will be will be!”

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