Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


The Stand-Up Comic

Category: Rated G

This variant is by Stan Kegel. Thank you.


The stand-up comic was not funny. His jokes never got a laugh. But he persisted in getting up every night at the coffee-shop and go through his whole routine. Boos and jeers never stopped him.

Finally one regular at the establishment brought a dozen eggs and started belting him with them as he told his stories. This got more laughs than the jokes, and every day more and more patrons would bring eggs to pelt him. He actually enjoyed being pelted — for the first time in his life he was getting laughs.

One day he didn’t show up and investigation revealed he had died. The entire clientele went to the funeral, and as they passed the open coffin each threw in eggs until the coffin was overflowing. It was impossible to close the coffin, so he couldn’t be buried until some of the eggs were removed.

Moral: Don’t put all your eggs in one casket.

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