Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


The Spanish Maiden

Category: Rated G

These are in Himie Koshevoy’s “Treasure Jest of Best Puns.”


A Spaniard, Juan by name and not nature, fell in love with Carmencita, a most possessive girl. She had heard the gossip that his was a wandering eye, but it didn’t surprise her because that trait was inherited from his primitive ancestors when they swung continually from limb to limb.

She decided there was only one way she could be certain her man would remain faithful until she could exchange the alter for the halter. By accompanying him everywhere, every waking moment, she became the village joke, but her vigilance was rewarded when she was able finally to wed her suitor without his ever once being unfaithful, a state of grace hitherto unheard of in all of Spain.

Everywhere she went, eager, enquiring maidens would ask her for the secret of her success, and her wise answer can be condensed to seven words: … You always herd the Juan you love.

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