Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


The Shaggy Aggie and the Lotto

Category: Rated G

My old friend Mel Lett sent this to me. In one of its other incarnations, it featured another, blonder category of downtrodden minority.


An Aggie named Brandi finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she’s in serious financial straits.

She’s so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray… “God, please help me. I’ve lost my business and if I don’t get some money, I’m going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto.”

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.

Brandi again prays… God, please let me win the lotto! I’ve lost my business, my house and I’m going to lose my car as well.”

Lotto night comes and Brandi still has no luck.

Once again, she prays… “My God, why have you forsaken me?? I’ve lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don’t often ask you for help, and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order.”

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Brandi is confronted by the voice of God, Himself…

“Brandi, work with Me on this. Buy a ticket.”

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