Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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The Road to Hell Is Paved

Category: Rated G

By Alan B. Combs


Regardless of the theology, many of us are familiar with the concept of “The Promise Keepers” who make a pledge to their Lord, their families, and themselves to live the righteous life on the straight-and narrow. Without Divine Help, this probably is not possible.

In response to the difficulties involved in staying true to the ideals of The Promise Keepers, certain people have banned together to create a group with less lofty goals and more attainable aims. This group, comprised of and dedicated to those who mean well, has become known as The Intenders.

Intenders hope to succeed in the struggle to do well, but are comforted by the knowledge they will almost certain fail in their effort. Nevertheless, they intend to keep on trying.

The First Annual Meeting of the Intenders brought an estimated 20,000 participants. The organizers intended to bring it off and they did. The following year they planned for 100,000 attendees and the crowd was nearly that many.

The organizers noted a particular problem at this meeting, however. When pairs of Intenders would get together, their topics of discussion would slip to racy jokes, and tales only worthy of bar room songs and backroom ballads (a type of branding, do you see?). In other words, when two and only two would get together, they would tend to get excessively raunchy. This did not happen with singles, or in groups of three or more.

Consequently, the organizers made it a rule that: “Throughout the Annual Meeting, all double-Intenders are forbidden.”

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