Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


The Race

Category: Rated G

This shaggy tale is by the irrepressible Cynthia MacGregor.


This is a new story about a terrapin and a bunny. Not the old familiar one, however. The turtle character in this case is a friendly fella named Tommy.

And the rabbit? Well, there are two, named Robbie and Ralphie. And the three of them, Tommy, Robbie, and Ralphie, are best friends.

One day a stranger came to town to observe the First Annual 5K race that was being held that weekend. The bookies were out in full force, taking wagers on the sly as to who would come in first. The stranger looked over the field of entrants, who included a bear, a skunk, and various other fauna, and decided there was no animal running who could outrace a rabbit. And Robbie and Ralphie Rabbit were both running in the race.

The stranger placed hefty bets on both Robbie and Ralphie Rabbit, figuring one or the other was a sure bet to win. Then he positioned himself near the finish line and waited for the outcome.

To his surprise, a fox crossed the finish line first, followed by a wolf, and then a bunch of other animals…and there was no sign of Robbie and Ralphie.

He waited …

… and waited …

… and waited …

… and finally there came Robbie and Ralphie, dead last in the pack of animals.

They weren’t hopping energetically forward in traditional bunny steps, but instead were awkwardly lumbering forward on all fours. The stranger exploded, “Where’d two rabbits learn to run like that?”

And in unison they answered, “Tommy Tortoise.”

« Previous post

Leave a Reply