Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


The Night Before Christmas Parodies XVII (FROM THE PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH)

Category: Poetry, Rated PG-13

We continue with Stan Kegel’s collection of these seasonal variations and parodies.


(must be read with the appropriate accent)

Der night next vas Christmas, Der Night it vas still;
Der shtockings ver hung By der chimney to fill.
Noddink vas shturring At all in der house
For fear do Saint Nicholas Vas nix komm heraus.

Der childrun ver dried Und gone to der bed
Und mutter in nightgown Und I on ahead
Vas searching around In der trunk for der toys
Und ve crept around kviet Not to make any noise.

Now mutter vas carrying All der toys in her gown
Und showink her person From up her vaist down
Venn as ve komm near Der crip uff our boy
Our youngest und shveetest Our pride und our choy.

His eyes ver vide open As he peeked from his cot
Und seen efferytink dot His mutter has got.
But he didn’t even notice Der toys in her lap.
He chust asked, “Vot is Dat liddle fur cap?”

Und mutter said, “Hush” Und den laffed mit delight
“I tink I giff dot To you fotter tonight.”

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