Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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The Magician I

Category: P.U.N.Y. listserv, Rated G

This is by Clynch Varnadore on PUNY.


There was a magician who wanted to do more than mere prestidigitation, who had managed across a book which contained all manner of spell, both good and ill. Of particular interest was a spell wherein he could raise the dead. He tried this spell on some animals and discovered that it worked quite well, so he started showing it to various agents in Hollywood.

One agent hit upon a particularly interesting idea; what if the magician raised the unknown soldier and found out who he was?

The agent managed to get network backing for this idea, and they were on their way. The network advertised the show quite heavily and there were an estimated 10 million people watching as the magician successfully raised the unknown soldier from the dead.

Then came the moment everyone had waited for. The magician called to the undead soldier and said, “Soldier, history does not record your name, only your death. Tell us, please, what your name is! Aver, cadaver!”


Chris Cole added:

Well, at first the soldier was rather surly about being so rudely awakened by the magician, prompting one of the press to mumble something about the magician’s being rotten to the corpse. The world was still watching, wondering if he would succeed in finding out his name.

Did he?

Of corpse!

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