Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


The Indiana Farm Boy

Category: Rated G

By that punner, Stan Kegel


Clem Roberts was homesick. Here he was a successful chief research chemist for Revlon, but he would constantly dream of his younger days on the family farm in Indiana. He would daydream of his happy youth, milking the cows in the barn or washing the horses in the stabile. The memories of the pigs and chickens sent chills down his spine.

So it should come as no surprise that after a long day of creating new exotic flowery scents for perfumes for the hopeful debutante or frustrated housewife, he would return to his laboratory at night and work on his project for his personal satisfaction. And he succeeded beyond his wildest hopes. He had managed to reproduce the fragrances he had so longingly remembered from his days on the farm.

He realized that there were many others who felt the way he did and approached the company supervisors with the thought of producing his new fragrances as a new line of cologne for men. The executives were thrilled with his samples and agreed to produce it and market it with a major campaign starting with ads during March Madness, realizing that farm boys, especially Hoosiers, love their basketball more than any other sport.

And in honor of Clem’s innovative work, the advertising department named the new product after him. So as you watch the Final Four, watch for ads stating that to win the love of your life, rush to your nearest drug store to purchase a bottle of … Robert’s Rural Odors.

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