Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


The Indian Elephant

Category: Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Rated PG, Shaggy Puppy

This was published on the groaners listserv. The author is not known.


A group of tourists were visiting India. One day while in a local market, one of the tourists noticed a man washing an elephant. He thought the scene would make a wonderful memento of the trip and walked over and took the man’s picture.

He wondered if he had time to take other photos of the picturesque scene, but he had left his watch at the hotel. He asked the man, “Good sir, I wonder if you could tell me the time?”

The Indian nodded, knelt down, reached out and took the elephant’s scrotum in his hand and shifted it slightly. “It’s a quarter past two,” he said after a moment.

“Good grief!” gasped the tourist. “That’s incredible! Wait here, I’ve got to tell the others.” He rushed back to the group and told them of the incredible trick he had seen. They all scurried back to where the elephant and the Indian were.

“Good sir,” the man said again, “could you please tell me the time?”

Once again, the Indian knelt down, reached out, cupped the elephant’s scrotum in his hand as if weighing it, moved it to one side and declared, “It’s twenty-one past two.”

One of the tourists checked her watch and said, “Incredible! He’s right! What a trick!”

Overcome with curiosity, the tourist said to the Indian, “If we give you a hundred dollars, will you tell us how you did that? We’ve got to tell this to the people at home.”

The Indian looked at him oddly. He thought for a moment and nodded. The man promptly took up a collection among the group and handed the money to the Indian. He took the money, put it in his pocket and motioned for the group to kneel beside him.

There was a murmur of excitement. When everyone was in position, the Indian once again cupped the elephant’s scrotum in his hand. Moving it to one side and peering between the elephant’s legs, he said, “Now, do you see that clock on the building over there…?”

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