Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


The Hunting Bet

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Dogs

This is a variant of an old shaggy. The author, Vernon Balbert [vbalbert@symantec.com] says, “Okay, I don’t give up easily. You probably have this one, too, but what the heck?”


In the days when the British ruled much of the world and had many holdings in Africa, two hunters discussed each others’ prowess at bagging wild game. Because neither would admit the other was the better hunter, they decided to make a wager. A gentleman’s bet, the wager was not ostentatious, but merely a token involving victory. They decided that the first one to bag a lion and return to the village would receive two pints of bitter from the loser.

The first hunter gathered up his beaters and his bearers and packed the usual load for an extended trip into the savanna to hunt the elusive king of the jungle. After two weeks had passed, the hunter returned with the skin of a male lion.

The second hunter, deciding that it would be prudent to make use of the more modern methods hired a pilot to fly him about the country until they found a lion. Upon seeing one of the great beasts, the pilot dived down towards the animal while the hunter shot from the passenger seat. After the lion had been shot, they landed, skinned the lion and returned to the village after having been gone only an hour. The other hunter was forced to admit the second hunter was the better at bagging a lion and bought him the two rinks.

The moral of this story: The shortest distance between two pints is a strafed lion.

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