Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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The Hunter

Category: Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Puns, Rated G

Posted by Stan Kegel in groaners listserv.

My brother, David, who lives in Maine, tells this story.

Several years ago David owned a roan stallion he had trained to hunt moose. His stallion could smell moose at least a mile away. Of course, many people make similar claims. Most, who have been near enough to notice, agree that moose do have a distinctive odor.

When moose season arrived, David would saddle up the roan and ride off into the woods. He would simply allow the horse to wander aimlessly, but invariably they would find moose the first day of the season. The horse was able to approach the moose without frightening them, so that Dave could easily bag one.

This horse became famous all over Maine for its extraordinary ability. Dave was the envy of hunters from one end of Maine to the other because his family was assured an ample supply of moose mincemeat every Christmas.

One fall day, when Dave went out to feed the horse, he found it had been stolen. He spread the word about his loss, but moose season came and went without the return of his roan stallion.

After moose season closed a pickup truck drove into Dave’s farmyard with the missing horse in a trailer.

The driver said, “I’m bringing your horse back. He’s no good. He didn’t find any moose at all.”

My brother replied, “I could have told you, a stolen roan gathers no moose!”

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