Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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The Flighty Mare

Category: Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Puns, Rated G, Shaggy Puppy

Posted by Stan Kegel on the groaners listserv.


Jake Styles had just bought a farmhouse in the country, barn and all. “Great!” he thought “now I can get that horse I have always wanted!” So he goes down the road to Farmer Ben’s house, and tells him he wants to buy a horse.

“Well, I only have one mare right now, and she’s kind of flighty.”

“I don’t care!” Jake says “I think she’s beautiful!”

So Jake buys the horse, brings her home and sets her up in a newly cleaned stall. The next morning, Jake wakes to find that she has broken out and run off. After many hours of searching, he finds her and leads her home.

Thinking maybe she didn’t like her stall, he cleans out a different one (the barn had four) and leads her in, this time making sure to bolt the door.

The next morning, Jake wakes to find that the mare has broken out and run off. After many hours of searching, he finds her, and brings her home, again trying a different stall (the barn had four).

The next morning Jake wakes to find that the mare had again broken out and run off. After many hours of searching, he finds her and brings her home, this time tying her to the last stall (the barn had four).

When he woke the next morning, the mare had chewed the rope, broken out and run off.

He called Farmer Ben, furious at the horse’s behavior. “I don’t understand it! I keep her stall clean, locked, full of food, nothing I do keeps her from running off!”

“I tried to tell you,” Farmer Ben said, “She just can’t seem to form a stable relationship!”

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