This is an old classic sent to me by Mel Lett.

A young couple got married and went on a cruise for their honeymoon. When they got back from the honeymoon, the bride immediately called her mother. “Well, darling,” said her mom, “how was the honeymoon?”

“Oh, mother,” she replied, “the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic, we had a terrific time! But, mother, as soon as we returned, Sam began using really horrible language… Stuff I’d never heard before… Really terrible four-letter words… You’ve got to come get me and take me home… PLEASE, MOTHER!” And the new bride began to sob over the telephone.

But Honey,” the mother countered, “WHAT four-letter words?”

“I can’t tell you, mother,” said the daughter, “they’re too awful! COME GET ME, _P_L_E_A_S_E_ !!!”

“Darling daughter, you must tell me what has you so upset… Tell mother the four-letter words!”

Still sobbing, the bride said, “Mother… just terrible. Words like DUST… WASH… IRON… COOK.”

“I’ll pick you up in ten minutes!”