This is from Lee Daniel Quinn.

It’s hard to believe that Lucy and I are actually getting married, considering the fact that her multi-millionaire father owns the local NFL franchise, and I’m just a lowly, underpaid member of the grounds crew, relegated to painting the team logo on the field, which is actually a fairly difficult job, what with all the little flairs, curlicues and swooshes I have to deal with, not to mention the texture of the turf itself, relative humidity and all the foot traffic that it gets. But I dye grass.

Chris Cole speculated:

After a day of putting down fertlizing ground cover I suppose our loquatious landskeeper might find himself off the peat and bath?