Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive

The Grim Reader

Category: P.U.N.Y. listserv, Rated G

This is by punmeister Gary Hallock who sent it to the PUNY listserv.. Timely, too.

Sometimes when I’m very tired I’ll read the newsweakly, but mostly I enjoy one of the other periodicals that don’t pander to prurient interests. This week I was anxious to see if my favorite magazine would demean their reputation by featuring sleazy photos of Janet Jackson’s skanky Super Bowl boob stunt. At the appropriate moment I looked out to my front porch mailbox to see if the carrier had yet arrived. Sure enough, someone was there at my mailbox right now.

I flung open the door to be greeted face to skull by the specter of death himself. The grim reaper had set aside his scythe and had reached into my mailbox to inspect my mail. Now he was fingering the pages of my periodical. Something slimy was dripping from the magazine and began running down his bony wrist onto the floor. It was as I’d feared. My heart jumped into my throat as I heard him whisper those awful words that every man fears. “Your Time has scum.”

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