Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


The Crow

Category: Rated G

This story is attributed to Bennett Cerf. It also occurs in Himie Koshevoy’s “Treasure Jest of Best Puns”.


Clarence was the most talkative bird in Birdland. You could always tell when Clarence was in the rookery, it was his beak that was always open.

He had another peculiarity. While most of the flock would settle on trees or perch on power lines, he would head unerringly for the telephone cables and once settled, he seemed to talk to himself.

His strange activity aroused the curiosity of another crow who finally asked him why he always made for the phone wires and began a lengthy conversation.

“Oh, that,” said Clarence, … “I just like to make long distance caws.”

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