Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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The Contest

Category: Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Puns, Rated G, Shaggydog listserv

From the groaners and shaggy dog listservs.


Two cadets at an Arizona Air force academy were bragging in their off time about what good hunters they were. Well, it seems that they decided to have a contest, and whoever won the contest would be accounted the better hunter. To make the things a little more interesting, they each put up a pint of the best whiskey they could find.

There had been rumors that a lion had escaped the local zoo and was roaming around loose in the desert that surrounded the academy. The contest was that whoever bagged the lion and brought it back to base was the winner.

The first cadet borrowed a large hunting rifle and set about hunting down the lion in the conventional manner.

The second cadet, who was perhaps a bit more inventive than his counterpart, secured a training jet from the local commander, loaded the wing guns with live ammunition and headed out over the desert in search of the lion. It wasn’t long before he spotted it, and, from the safety of the plane, killed it. He took the plane down, loaded the lion’s body into the copilot’s seat, and headed back to base, where he promptly downed both bottles.

Which just goes to show that a strafed lion is the shortest distance between two pints.

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