This tale is by Gary Hallock. I am so pleased to see him back creating groaners.

While sorting and counting the money from the church’s collection plate, the new deacon noticed that many of the bills were sticking together. At first he thought some careless child with dirty fingers had inadvertently polluted the currency with the sticky residue of a sweet snack. Oddly enough there wasn’t really anything obviously sticky. Many of the dollars were merely clinging together tightly as if held by magnetism. It was actually quite a task to pry them apart without ripping them. He shared this curious fact with the minister who calmly reassured him that this was not at all uncommon. “These are the tithes that bind,” he noted.

Steve Fox responded:
The following week, the minister was observed to be reverting to his ole ways of wearing garish neckwear under his surplice. Sometimes the orange and purple of his cravat would shine through the robe; other times the fluorescent lime green would cast an upward glow about his face when the lights were dimmed for the choir’s anthem. When the deacon questioned him about his unusual sartorial choices, he responded, “Best be the ties that blind.”