Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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The Bell Makers

Category: Rated G

This pun is by Bennet Cerf, that most prolific writer and collector of puns.


Long ago, in a small country in Europe, one family had for centuries made all the bells for the churches in the village. Finally, only one member of the bell-making family was left, and he was also the mayor of the town. Feeling threatened by competition, the mayor decreed that no wedding bells might be rung in the village unless they were made by him. He enforced this rule strictly and became known as the Wedding-Bell Czar.

One couple decided to marry without using the czar’s bells. They had a friend who owned an ancient Chinese gong, and they used it instead. Shortly after the wedding, a fearsome noise was heard coming from the gong-owner’s home. The bride and groom rushed to investigate.

“Whatever does that noise mean?” they cried.

“It means,” said their friend, wringing his hands, “That Wedding-Bell Czar’s breaking up that old gong of mine.”

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