Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


The Bad Brother

Category: Adult Theme, Puns, Shaggy Puppy

A few years ago, Mel Lett reminded me of this ancient, venerable tale. In a flash, it came to me — I think I first heard this story from him in high school. Yeah, that makes it at least fifty years old. “Nothing new under the sun”, the prophet says. . .


The bad brother died. He was missed by his good brother, since he loved him despite his evil ways. Many years later, the good brother also died and went to Heaven. Everything was beautiful and wonderful there, and he was very happy.

One day he asked the Lord where his brother was, as he hadn’t seen him. God said that he was sorry but his brother had lived a terrible life and had gone to Hell instead of Heaven.

The good brother then asked God if there was any way for him to see his brother. So God allowed him to see into Hell, and there he wasr. He was sitting on a couch with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a gorgeous blonde under his other arm.

Confused, the good brother said to God, “I am so happy that You let me into Heaven with You. It is so beautiful here, and I love it. But, I don’t understand, If my brother was bad enough to go to Hell, why is he there with a bottle of whiskey and a gorgeous blonde? It hardly seems like a punishment.”

God said unto him, “Things are not always as they seem, my son. . . The bottle has a hole in the bottom, and the blonde doesn’t!!!”

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