Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


The Ark

Category: alt.callahans, Rated G

These were posted by Jake Katz (aka Mephistoff Ellis) on alt.callahans. Thanks.


Ham and Shem were through with their labors and rested, watching their father. He raised his eyes to the heavens and said, “Okay, Lord, we got the ark all built. Now what?”

A booming voice replied, “Noah, you must go forth and gather two of each kind of animal, one male and one female, that they may replenish the earth when my waters recede.”

“Ummm… listen, that’s well and good for replenishing and all that, but what are we gonna eat on board this ark, if you don’t mind my asking? I mean, I got a family to feed!”

“You have a point there. You may take SIX of each kind of beast that is pleasing to the taste. Keep two, eat four. How’s that?”

“Fine, O Lord, verily this is fine! Yum yum. Four sheep…”

Ham turned to Shem and said, “We’re going to eat MUTTON? Yuk!”

Shem grinned and said, “Well, Ham isn’t Kosher!”

Ham did a double-take, then hastily agreed that this was the case. “But are we REALLY going to have to eat tough old mutton?

Shem nodded, pointed to his dad, and replied, “There’s Noah, counting four tastes.”

« Previous post
Next post »

Leave a Reply