Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


The Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms (ATF) Agent

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Puppy

This is from cousin Roger.


An ATF officer stops at a ranch in South Dakota, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.”

The old rancher says, “Okay, but do not go in that field over there.”

The ATF officer verbally explodes saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me.” Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the farmer. “See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish…on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?”

The old rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores. A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the ATF officer running for his life, chased close behind by the rancher’s prize bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he’ll get hooked before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified.

The old rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs….. “Your badge! Show him your badge!!!”

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